I believe that the one quality that we humans, at least most of us haven’t been able to develop or inculcate so far in our nature is acceptance. You will hardly find anyone accepting things the way they are, accepting the things that can't be changed, being okay with the incidents or accidents of the past, accepting the shortcomings and imperfections of the present, and the uncertainty of the future.
This is the only way by which we can transition ourselves from hatred, anger, guilt, disappointment, anxiety, stress, depression to love, pleasure, freedom, peace, joy, and happiness. All of these traits are present everywhere around us and within us, but the thing that will differentiate you from others is whether you accept the shortcomings and move on and fill your life with positiveness and happiness or you just choose to reject it and fill your life with misery and guilt.
Acceptance is not love. You love a person because he or she has lovable traits, but you accept everybody just because they’re alive and human.
— Albert Ellis
Accept the imperfections
All of us are born with many pluses and minuses. We excel at certain things and we crumple at some.
Does that mean that we should accept our shortcomings and move ahead?
Yes, obviously accept it but try to make yourself better in that aspect of your life where you are lacking. When you accept and try to excel in something, you become better at learning that thing since you have acknowledged the fact that you are not good at that. And never consider that accepting something means accepting defeat. When you accept things the way they are, you don’t lose but you learn from them.
There are times in life when you feel that you can help your friend, relative, colleague, or maybe a stranger in overcoming his shortcomings or imperfections as you are good at that aspect. So, go ahead and help him but remember that with acceptance learning new things become easier. You feel very lightheaded after you have developed this quality of acceptance.
Consider your life, for example, you will find many instances where if only you would have accepted the outcome, your life would have been much better.
You quarrel with your friend, relative, colleague, or stranger, and it’s all a game of who wins or who dominates. Apparently, you may have won the argument but later on, both the parties will be in their own space of loneliness and depression and thinking about the damage that this row has caused. But do you even realize that if only one of you would have accepted the other person the way he/she is, accepted his views, this problem wouldn't have arisen in the first place? Now, when the damage is done, we are busily thinking about the other scenarios.
At times we even fight with our near and dear ones. Often a normal discussion leads to a fight. In all of these cases, what is common is that one of us is always trying to dominate and prove our point. We don’t even care if the other person is right or wrong or whether he/she is hurt or not but in the end, you just want to win. It’s then that your ego has taken over and you have forgotten the lovely relationship that you share with the other person and you just want to prove that you are right. We don’t even realize that this temporary happiness for which you were fighting all throughout may break you and all your relationships in the future.
Remember always that considering other person views and accepting him/ her the way they are doesn’t mean you have lost. It means you have overcome yourself and have emerged as the bigger version of yourself and nothing can defeat you unless you choose to.
You always have a choice
Life always gives you a choice. Either live in the present and be happy or keep regretting the past that you have already lived and is unchangeable.
Again I want to stress on the fact that I’m not saying stop trying to improve yourself. No, never but I would rather say that keep trying, always try to excel and help others to excel, test your limits, and always strive to achieve more.
But also, when it doesn’t work, accept it and move on to the next thing. When you fail or make a crucial mistake, be okay with it. Accept it for the experience and lesson it is. And go do it better this time.
I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I cannot accept not trying.
Learn to be OK with things
Be satisfied with the things you have
Just see your lives and you will surely realize that you have more than enough. We take many things for granted, without even realizing that there are many in this world who don't even have the most basic of amenities and still they are happy and satisfied. So, focus on the things you have and be satisfied and happy.
Enjoy each second and go with the flow.
In the end, I would like to leave you with these two wonderful quotes. Give it a thought.
Accept what is. Let go what was. Believe in what will be.
In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of the things not meant for you.